A Moment of Truth by Ray Lane Partner, Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers Vice Chair, Special Olympics Board of Directors Oftentimes, a person can look back on a specific experience in their life and say, “That was it. That was the defining or transforming moment.” With Special Olympics, I experienced a similar moment of transformation or enlightenment. Ray Lane (left) introduces teammate Conrad Zastrou of Special Olympics South Africa to fellow Special Olympics Board member Bart Conner at the Campaign for Special Olympics Golf Challenge, which took place in conjunction with the 2003 Special Olympics World Summer Games in Dublin, Ireland. [Photo by Richard Corman] Eight years ago, I came to Special Olympics with unknown expectations. I had limited experience with anyone with intellectual disabilities prior to my involvement. Therefore, at my first Special Olympics event, my tendency was to coddle, to be kind and to let nothing go wrong that might embarrass the athletes or, worse yet, me. Quickly, I came to understand what Special Olympics is about, at least for people with intellectual disabilities: empowerment, joy, achievement and celebration — all through the simple vehicle of sport. I will always remember a certain sense of pride, not just from winning, which emanated from the athletes. "I found that in accepting that which I knew to be different, I was able to embrace that which was actually more alike. This is the true and potential power of Special Olympics: to transform the lives of all people, not only the lives of those with intellectual disabilities, but also my own." Yet my enlightenment or full understanding did not culminate until recently and at the hands of a very unsuspecting candidate. At the 2003 Special Olympics World Summer Games, I had the opportunity to share an 18-hole journey with Conrad, a unique person and Special Olympics athlete. Conrad Zastrou was part of my golf foursome and, along with two others, we competed in a tournament, not against each other but as a team. I went into the tournament with my traditional attitude. I am going to do everything I can to surround him with love, surround him with space, and allow him to do what he does best — whatever that was. Over the first few holes, we got to know the course and each other's play. Now Conrad said he was an 8-handicap golfer, so I am expecting a decent golfer. (I am an 8-handicap golfer.) However, it was evident either Conrad was having a very bad day, or Conrad did not have an 8-stroke handicap. It was clear, Conrad was not happy about his play. In fact, after several bad shots, he concluded that he was not playing well because it was not quiet on the tee. So, we all got very quiet. And, what do you know? He hit a drive right down the center of the fairway, 250 yards. That was just the beginning. On the longdrive hole, he out-drove everyone with a 310-yard drive. From there on, Conrad played the back nine to a 39. He was and is an 8-handicap golfer. I am not sure how, but, somewhere along that front nine, we became friends; more importantly, we had mutual respect. He looked to me as a golfer and, I think, respected me, looking back to him as a competitive golfer. I am proud to say my native reaction was to see him only as a golfer and that he could feel it. He could feel that I was disappointed in his play on the front nine and how it affected our team. It was an athlete's sense, not my words — it was probably my actions, my feelings, my respect for him, my talking to him about the golf course and about the way you play the course and even getting mad at him. It was a mutual respect for each other as competitive golfers. And, there it was — finally, I got it. I had let go of my preconceptions. I had immersed myself and really listened and learned. I was now able to look beyond the disability to the common ground. Conrad and I were the same when it came to golf. I found that in accepting that which I knew to be different, I was able to embrace that which was actually more alike. This is the true and potential power of Special Olympics: to transform the lives of all people, not only the lives of those with intellectual disabilities, but also my own. Return to main Celebrating Growth page